I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He passed out mid-signature
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
