if you like me you must not know who I am
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
