Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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