I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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