You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
