Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
