Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
