Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
