You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
