Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
