go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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