Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
