I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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