I have demons in me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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