singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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