I think im going to throw up on grandma
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
