So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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