i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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