no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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