There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
