Sry I called you an 8
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
