What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
