If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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