Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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