put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think my vagina is haunted
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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