can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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