My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
