When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
