So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
