let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
