Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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