Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
