the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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