hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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