im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
