She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
