I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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