just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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