Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
