: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Buhtt sex?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
