I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
