he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
