i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
