i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I want her autograph on my taint
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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