it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
