Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
