I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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