Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
