do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
