its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
