Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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