I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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