words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
