where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
