3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
