Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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