thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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