Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
