Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
