was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
