Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
